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|This weekend was all about preparation.
I had two theater shows in Durham and Charlotte opening for Sebastian Maniscalco. The combined capacity of both theaters still doesn't match the capacity of Shea's Performing Arts Center, where I will be opening for him on March 25, but this was the closest to a test run that I will get before the big show in Buffalo. On top of that, I accepted three headlining shows at a club in Winston-Salem Wholesale Cigarettes.
It made for five shows in three nights and three cities for about 3,600 people. It was an ambitious undertaking and took a lot of brainpower, but it was also one hell of a ride.
Leave for Winston-Salem. Arrive at Laughing Gas Comedy Club 10 minutes before showtime. It's a smaller club that fits about 80 people. A huge mural serves as the backdrop of the stage that takes up an entire wall from floor to ceiling.
Tonight there are only 22 in the crowd, but they are a lot of fun. I close the show with a 54-minute set that ranges from the invention of cigarettes to a married couple named Winston and Salem. By the time I'm done, my fiance, Lauren, has had too much tequila from trying to hold her own at the bar in the back of the room. Time to go home.
The outline of Brian Herberger as he prepares to go on stage.
I sleep in a bit and wake up with a big day of writing, driving and performing ahead of me.
Maybe the tequila is still having effects, but Lauren has been up for two hours already and started a Brian Herberger Comedy Facebook Page. I make some additions and try to gain some followers. We are up to about 150 in the first hour.
I listen to my recorded set from the night before, making notes about things I said and tweaks I want to make for the two headlining spots I have tonight.
Before those spots, I will do 15 minutes at a theater, so I listen to my last two theater sets that I did back in September in Rochester as well.
After listening, writing, Facebooking and tweaking all morning, I begin to pick out clothes for the next two nights. At this point, I just want it to be showtime.
Leave for pre-show dinner. We won't have much time to eat later. We order a medium pizza and I eat about half a slice Marlboro Menthol. I'm focused and don't have much of an appetite. I also don't want to have to suck in my full stomach in front of 1,400 people.
Arrive at The Carolina Theatre in Durham. Walk in through the back door by the loading dock that is surprisingly not locked. We bump into the stage manager and he recognizes me immediately Buy Cigarettes Online. He leads me to my dressing room, a makeup area that is built for 20-plus dancers at a time. My name is on the door and I have about an hour to pace and try not to sweat too much. We walk around the theater a bit and I get a feel for the stage.
The Voice of God calls my name and I take the stage. The crowd is mostly settled and ready to laugh. It's amazing, even with all of those people out there I can see only the first couple of rows with the many bright lights Marlboro Red Cigarettes.
It's feels like performing to a normal sized comedy club until you get your first laugh and it almost knocks you over like a rolling wave of energy. They're packed in. I have a strong set and ad lib briefly about how half of North Carolina is from Upstate New York, just like me.
I say "Thank you" and "Have fun with Sebastian" before I walk off Newport Cigarettes. I grab my stuff and we sneak out the back door as Sebastian takes the stage to an eruption of applause and cheers.
We are in the car headed for Winston-Salem. The Show starts at 8. I'm supposed to be there between 8:30 and 8:40. Google Maps has our ETA set at 8:50. I text the club owner that I might be late and try not to speed as I pray for no traffic interruptions.
We arrive at the club just in time. The two acts before me cover for me and I have just a moment to breathe before it's my turn to go on and close the show Marlboro Cigarettes. This crowd isn't as fun as the one from last night, even though they are slightly bigger, and it's a tough transition going from a packed theater of 1,400 to a lightly attended room of about 30.
The second show is underway and this crowd is tough to read. There is one table of four that seems to be carrying the load for the rest of the audience.
I am very loose and interact with the crowd a lot more than I normally would. I close the show with 40 minutes and wish the crowd and the rest of Winston-Salem a good night. It was hectic, but everything went really well. I have one more theater show in Charlotte tonight, so I listen to my 20-minute set from Durham the night before. I am able to relax today. The hardest stretch is behind me.
Leave for Charlotte. The Belk Theatre has about three different names in the Google Maps so it takes me a little longer to find it, but again I make my way in through the back door and find my green room.
I listen to the Sabres blow a lead against Pittsburgh on my phone as I'm killing time before the show.
After a brief delay, it's time for me to go on. This theater seats 2,100, and for a Sunday night the crowd seems to be full of a fun energy. I am asked to stick to a tight 15 minutes tonight, so I hit them hard with my best stuff and walk off feeling like a rock star. This time the laughter waves are reverberating through my entire body and there is no other feeling quite like it.
After watching the rest of the show from Stage Right, I walk out with the rest of the audience. I should have expected this, but most of the people recognize me. After standing in a few pictures, I sneak into a bar and order another medium pizza. This time I eat the entire thing with no hesitation.
This may have been my most hectic comedy weekend to date, but from 15 minutes for 2,100 to 54 minutes for 22, it felt great to have so much stage time and be in front of so many people.
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|Mark Littlewood is Director General of the Institute of Economic Affairs
The Australians may just have got Andrew Lansley, the Health Secretary, off the hook. They have just become the first country in the supposedly 'free world' to insist on the plain packaging of tobacco products.
Well, the packaging won't really be plain. Printed on a muddy, murky green background will be government health warnings along with ghoulish images of diseased body parts and the terminally ill taking up three quarters of the available space Cigarettes Online. What will not be on the pack will be any colourful images from the tobacco companies, merely the name of the particular brand in very small print.
The grim green background shade has been especially selected as it is the colour which consumers apparently find the most unappealing. It was originally described as 'olive green' by Aussie politicians until those involved in the business of producing and selling olives vociferously complained.
This is the latest ludicrous move in the unending, ceaseless, bullying war against those who choose to produce and consume tobacco. Apparently, the shiny gold trimming on certain packets of cigarettes is just so alluring and seductive that those who would otherwise abstain from smoking just cannot help themselves buying packs of the dreaded weed. When their policies fail to achieve their goals, they just shrug their shoulders and move on to the next stage in the de-normalisation of adults who make lifestyle choices they disapprove of.
When put in a corner, they fall back on the feeble scientific evidence around second hand smoke and the need to "save the children". Even the more hysterical studies into passive smoking suggest that the risks to non-smokers are utterly trivial compared to other everyday exposures which we rarely think twice about - for example, having an open log fire in your living room, regularly barbecuing meat or practising carpentry should concern you far more than whether someone is puffing away on a Marlboro in your general vicinity. To listen to the fanatics from groups such as ASH, you would think that wafting cigarette smoke is the rough equivalent of handling weapons grade plutonium.
And as far as children are concerned, one wonders whether the fanatical health lobbyists have any sense at all of how kids think. Young boys, in particular, have a fascination with the horrific and the ghastly. We can surely expect packaging with pictures of diseased lungs and colossal cancer growths to have far more kudos in the playground than a simple, elegantly designed Silk Cut or Camel packet Tobacco Shop.
But what should really frighten us about the Australian decision is not that it will fail Newport Cigarettes. Few of these harebrained initiatives ever succeed - even the blanket smoking ban in England failed to make any discernible impact on reducing tobacco consumption. No, the real worry is what this exposes about the way our lords and masters think about us.
If cigarette packaging needs to be commandeered by the government, why not also place control of confectionary branding, beer bottles and fast food restaurants in the hands of the health lobby? Their essential argument is that we should not be allowed to decide for ourselves in a glorious technicolour world so they are going to do their damndest to render it monochrome Newport Cigarettes.
But how does any of this help Andrew Lansley at the Department of Health? Well, he is a Cabinet minister in a government which claims to support deregulation Wholesale Cigarettes.
Yet, he has already pressed ahead with a ban on the display of cigarettes firstly in supermarkets and then to be followed by newsagents. The lobbyists from health groups and the pharmaceutical industry which often surround him seem to come up with a new initiative virtually every week (the last mad idea from the BMA was to get our police force to focus on stopping people smoking in their cars, even if they are alone or sharing a lift with other consenting adults).
Fortunately, the Health Secretary does not need to marshal a whole series of arguments to rebut the case for plain packaging of tobacco (which would, in any event, be quite hard to do - as it is difficult to rebut a case based on no credible evidence whatsoever). He can cancel his promised consultation on the subject (originally anticipated to be launched in the next few weeks), thereby saving everybody a lot of time and effort. He can then sit back and wait for a couple of years and see what independent evidence suggests the impact to be in Australia, if the legal challenge from tobacco companies fails to reverse this intrusion into free expression.
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